tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88646623931068113452024-03-12T19:16:15.512-07:00Another Point of View...Satirical musings, opinions, observations and stories from a cynical child of the 21st century.Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-69252840808802151812010-06-13T11:40:00.001-07:002014-08-05T16:23:22.541-07:00USA 0 - BP FC 0How dare <i>they</i> get angry with BP or Britain or anyone else for that matter. This oil spill, like any other recent fossil fuel-related disaster is caused by greed. Mr Obama – if you’re looking for a scapegoat: capitalism is to blame. That’s right; America’s oldest friend and nature’s greatest enemy is the one you should be pointing the finger at. <br /><br />It’s disgusting to watch.<br /><br />As we can all see, the victim of the oil spill is wildlife. Nature has been used against itself in the name of money. We all know we shouldn’t be using them any more: oil, coal, gas – but how long have we been talking about renewable energy? How many years have we been talking about the environment, pollution, climate change and global warming for? <br /><br />I remember features on Blue Peter when I was a small child about the end to using fossil fuels. Not to mention watching Newsround after school showing heartbreaking footage of oil spills on that left thousands of birds and animals drowning in poisonous, sticky, black goo. What a way to go.<br /><br />Plastic bags were demonized way back in 2007, deemed enemies of the environment. True enough, birds getting their little legs caught in them and dying is awful. Plastic bags litter trees and landscapes all the way from Bolivia to China: fact. However, a few thousand, or even a few million plastic bags are a hell of a lot easier to clean up than 40,000 barrels (1.7 million gallons) of oil – EVERY DAY - since 20th April. <br /><br /><b><i>Q: so why hasn’t digging for oil been demonized and openly recognized by politicians as one of the greatest threats to the environment?<br /><br />A: Money.</i></b><br /><br />Plastic bags are an easy one: they cost big corporations money to produce. They were ‘free’ to the consumer. But they cleverly came up with an environmentally friendly solution: reusable carrier bags. Simple. AND they can sell them to us to make profit. GENIUS. Plus if you’re evil and uncaring enough to use a classic plastic bag, places like M&S will charge you 5p per bag – all in the name of the environment. Doesn’t it just give you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside? <br /><br />No, because it always goes back to the consumer not the company. Selfish evil consumers. It’s not the big corporations that spend millions of pounds on marketing and advertising to manipulate us into buying shit we don’t need. No - it’s all our fault. That’s why we have to recycle. It’s not the responsibility of the capitalist organization to cut down the amount of packaging they use. No. we must dispose of - the box, the plastic tray, the cellophane and the moulded-foam that keeps our 4 tomatoes fresh and unharmed all the way home - responsibly. <br /><br />And they (the system) will do us the service of disposing it for us. Or do they? Where does our recycling even go? We put it in our green box – we’ve done our bit – but how many consumer facing products made out of recycled materials do you even see? In the grand scheme of things, not many.<br /><br />The truth is, recycling means using even more energy to melt it all down again and re-use it. For example - depending on its composition, glass melts at 1425 - 1600 °C. And how are these temperatures reached? Not by rubbing 2 sticks together or by using a solar powered furnace.<br /><br />According to recycling-guide.org.uk/science-glass, the process goes a little something like this:<br /><br />1. The consumer throws glass into a recycle bin.<br />2. Glass is taken from the bin and taken to a glass treatment plant.<br />3. The glass is sorted by colour and washed to remove any impurities.<br />4. The glass is then crushed and melted, then moulded into new products such as bottles and jars. Or it may be used for alternative purposes such as brick manufacture or decorative uses. <br />5. The glass is then sent back to the shops ready to be used again.<br />6. Glass does not degrade through the recycling process, so it can be recycled again and again.<br /><br />Wo, wo, wo, wo, wooo - hang on a minute. Why can’t we just stop at point 3, skip out step 4 and move straight on to step 5?<br /><br />Most bottles and jars are pretty generic any way – so why the hell do we need to melt them down to use them again?<br /><br />In ‘the olden days’ – bottles were re-used, NOT recycled. They were cleaned and used again. Not taken away in a fuel guzzling, rubbish eating truck, to be taken to a fossil-fuelled recycling plant. Even 'less developed' places like Croatia and Argentina still re-use their beer bottles and consumers get rewarded for taking them back to the shop.<br /> <br /><b>Answers please</b><br />Q: Why aren’t we channeling solar energy from the hottest, poorest parts of the world? Why don’t we make every roof on every home in the famine-riddled parts of Africa out of solar panels and sell the energy to places like Britain? <br /><br />Q: Why hasn’t been made law that wherever possible every corporate building in Britain got a wind-turbine on top of it, so it powers itself?<br /><br />There are just too many questions that seem to all have the same answer: greed, capitalism, money.<br /><br />After a seemingly unstoppable oil leak that’s been flooding the Gulf of Mexico for well over a month now, followed by 2 methane gas explosions in May less than a week apart (43 people in a coal mine in Russia and 25 in Turkey killed); shouldn’t the answer finally be: stop digging, keep researching and start acting?<br /><br /><b>One final thought</b><br />Maybe the dawn of the iPad will end the need for paper, thus halting the destruction of the rainforests and stop harmful deforestation. Maybe not.<br /><br />©<br /><br />missdmeanour.blogspot.comMiss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-65911848358758277762009-12-21T14:15:00.000-08:002014-08-05T16:27:06.041-07:00This is a Customer Service Announcement...<span style="font-style:italic;">Dear Miss D Meanour,<br /><br />Thank you for replying,<br /><br />I realize how inexplicable it may seem to you to be told that you need to get a part replaced on a machine which is not very old. Ideally, Dell products last for a long time, however, computers are mechanical devices and it’s really difficult to guarantee the life of the product. Please be assured that the new replaced tpart will resolve the issue.<br /><br />Miss D Meanour, please understand that the part that is damageg is not due to a manufacturing defect and will not be covered under warranty.<br /><br />Please reply to this email so that we may be able to action the case as soon as possible.<br />The case number for this communication is XXXXXXX.<br />Thank you for choosing Dell<br /></span><br /><br />So at first I submitted – what’s the point of fighting the machine from the other side of the world? So I replied: <span style="font-style:italic;">How much will the new power cable cost?</span><br /><br />They don’t tell me, instead - I get this response:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Dear Miss D Meanour,<br />Thank you for replying,<br /><br />Miss D Meanour, I would request you to please clearify if the issue is with the AC Adapter or the system port where you put the AC Adapter incase if you then please send us the pictures of the faulty component.<br /><br />Please reply to this email so that we may be able to action the case as soon as possible.<br />The case number for this communication is XXXXXXX.<br />Thank you for choosing Dell</span><br /><br />Why? Just tell me how much a new power cord costs and send me a new fucking power cord.<br /><br />I leave it for a few days with the intention of dealing with it once my will to live has returned in some new but slightly less buoyant form. Plus, I’m a busy woman and I’m now in no hurry; as apparently my 1 year warranty doesn’t really exist, thus my consumer rights and henceforth as it seems to be seen in the UK - my <span style="font-style:italic;">human rights</span> have been violated and then systematically destroyed in the name of capitalism. <br /><br />It’s all a conspiracy anyway, we all know that. Don’t we? If not – read this:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Need for Cyclical Consumption</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The roles of people in a monetary system are basically broken into three distinctions:<br />The Employee, The Consumer, The Employer (or Owner/Producer)<br /><br />The Employee performs tasks for the Employer in exchange for a “Wage” or monetary payment, while the employer sells a good or service to the Consumer for a “Profit”- another classification of monetary payment.<br /><br />In turn, both the Employer and Employee function as Consumers, for the monetary payments (“wages” and “profits”) they obtain are used to purchase goods and services relevant to their survival.<br /><br />The act of purchasing goods and services, which is the role of the Consumer, is what allows the Employer to make its “Profit”, while also enabling the payment of the Employee’s “Wage”.<br /><br />In other words, it is the requirement of perpetual ‘Consumption’ that keeps the Employer in business and maintains the Employee’s job.<br /><br />Now, it is important to understand that this payment-consumption cycle (or ‘cyclical consumption’) cannot stop, or the entire economic structure would collapse, for money would not come to the Employer, the Employer would not be able to afford to pay his Employee, and both the Employer and Employee would not be able to perpetuate the cycle by being a Consumer.<br /><br />Consequence:<br />#1 - Nothing physically produced can ever maintain an operational lifespan longer than what can be endured in order to maintain economic integrity through ‘cyclical consumption’.<br /><br />In other words, every ‘good’ produced must breakdown in a respective amount of time in order to continue financial circulation to support the players (consumer/employee/employer) in the game.<br /><br />This characteristic could be defined as: “Planned Obsolescence”.<br /><br />Planned Obsolescence can generally take two positions:<br /><br />a) Intentional: Deliberate withholding of efficiency so the product in question breaks down.<br /><br />b) Consequential: Profit based shortcuts taken in production, usually in the form of cheap materials/poor design, in an effort to save money and create repeat customers. This translates into an inferior product immediately.[i.e. = The use of plastics for electronic enclosures is cheaper for the company and the consumer, but the durability of this material is poor in comparison to say, titanium metal, which is much more expensive.]<br /><br />#2- The introduction of new products and services must be constant to offset any increased efficiency of the prior generations of production, regardless of functional utility, generating endless waste .<br /><br />In other words, waste is a deliberate by product of industry’s need to keep ‘cyclical consumption’ going. This means that the replaced/obsolete product is expelled, often to landfills, polluting the environment. The constant multiplicity accelerates the pollution.<br /><br />www.thezeitgeistmovement.com</span><br /><br />Basically: Dell are doing it on purpose to make lots of money and destroy the world. Now it all makes sense.<br /><br />Today, I’m minding my own business, doing some work on my no broken computer and I receive this in my inbox from our friends at Dell:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Dear Miss D Meanour, <br />I am just writing to see how things are going on your end. <br />We have not received a response from you in the last few days. Should you have any questions or concerns on the information that I have provided to you, please do not hesitate to reply back to me with the results. <br />You may take your own time to perform the steps and reply with the results. I would request you to reply with the best time to reach you between 11:00 AM to 05:00 PM on phone, for three different dates Monday to Friday when you will be available with the system. <br />Also provide us with an Updated telephone number as we do not have one and the one updated in our records.</span><br /><br />Um, ok – three things:<br />1. Why do I need to have a phone number? I don’t have a telephone number, I don’t want a telephone number and I’m in Peru – can they Skype me? I might ask.<br /><br />2. Apparently, I may take my own time to perform the steps and reply with the results – thank you very much Dell, that’s very generous of you.<br /><br />AND<br /><br />3. How things are going my end? Do you really want to know...?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">How things are going my end</span><br /><br />Last week was a bad week. Something went wrong every day...<br /><br />On Thursday I thought it had peaked when I had an argument with some old bag who owns one of the internet/phone/printing/etc places, here they’re called a ‘Locutoria’. This woman, for some reason has it in for me. Seriously. The story goes something like this...<br /><br />So I've started a little Marketing Agency here in Mancora. It’s in its infancy but it all started with one flyer for the sushi restaurant and now I’ve got some more clients. The place I use for my printing doesn't have a guillotine, but they’re incredibly helpful and very nice. So the first time I went to the place next door and the man let me use his guillotine. So for the next batch I did the same: went next door and the man was there - but so was his wife...<br /><br />She told me that I couldn't use their guillotine as I didn't get it printed there. I said of course I’ll pay but instead she started barking at me and kicked me out. Nice. <br /><br />On Thursday I needed to get something printed so I went back to the shop that kicked me out last time, but thought as I'm now a customer, kill 2 birds with 1 stone, get the flyers cut up and get my shit printed. The old bag wasn't in the shop at the time; a boy seemed to be running the operation. So I asked him about the printing and if I could use the guillotine in the meantime. He said it was fine. So off I go, cutting away and after a while the old bag appears.<br /><br />I smile at her. She just glares at me and says nothing.<br /><br />I finish with my cutting and on to the computer I go. But their computer is shit, even more shit than mine is right now and doesn't have the new version of Word so I can't open my files. (FUCKING MICROSOFT!!! – don’t get me started on Microsoft).<br />But I can open them using Google docs, so I copy and paste the words out of the Google doc in to a Word doc. This takes a bit of time. The whole time she's bugging me to get out and I'm all like: tengo um problemo, un momento (I’ve got a problem, I’m sorting it, give me a minute).<br /><br />So I have to play with the goddamn margins to get it to fit on 1 page again, FOR FUCKS SAKE and it took me longer than it really should have. Somehow, the process of changing the margins meant the computer would print my document, before I was ready.<br /><br />Now - I know how to use a computer. Even my evil cat knows how to use a computer - and I know how to not press print. <br /><br />The old bag comes over to me with the print outs (bugging me all up in ma face n'shit). I told her I didn't press print and I don't know why they printed. Obviously she gets all angry because she hates me and tells me I have to pay. So I'm all like, yer (shut the fuck up) CLARO (bitch).<br /><br />So eventually I've got my margins sorted and I've pressed print on both documents.<br /><br />One version pops out. I wait for the other version. She gives me the first version, I tell her I’m waiting for one more. She says there is no more. She says that's all there was. I tell her – NO, I printed something else as well. Then after waiting for a few minutes suddenly the other version appears - but my will to live has pretty much vanished by this point. So I ask her: quanta questa? She tells me S/18<br /><br />ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?<br /><br />I tell her no, I'm not paying S/18 - that's ridiculous. So I leave the shop to go and get change for my S/20. To give you some context it's the equivalent of paying £20 for 18 sheets of paper or an exact cost would be £4 or $6 - what? I don't think so luv.<br /><br />While I'm at the kiosk next door buying some water to get some change so I can pay her S/10 for the lot, she calls the police. <br /><br />She’s holding my unwanted print-outs growling at me and telling the policeman that it’s all in English so it must be mine (yer, I know).<br />The policeman comes over sees that I'm getting change and immediately takes my side when I tell him that she tried to charge me S/18 for a few pieces of paper because I'm a gringa (English), she hates me and 'signora siempre molesta mi, ella es muy loca'. (This lady always bothers me, she’s really crazy).<br /><br />So the policeman agrees that I pay her S/10 for the printing and we go our separate ways. <br /><br />But she wasn't having any of it. <br /><br />So she tried to grab my newly printed documents out of my hand and screw them up. MENTAL. She doesn’t damage them too much but grabs my water off me and takes it in to her shop. I turn to the policeman and he's thinking the same thing as me: fea loca puta (crazy ugly bitch).<br /><br />I turn to him and say: mirar, ella tomar mi agua - loca! (Look, she’s taken my water – crazy!) He says I can go and get it off her. <br /><br />So I went back in to the internet place and she's looking extra grumpy holding my water in both hands. I ask her to give my water back - she hides it under the desk. I can't be bothered any more. The woman is mental, so I just leave. Fuming and thirsty.<br /><br />PHEW! That could have gone either way. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Why I now hte cts</span><br /><br />To top it all off, the next day my cat walked across my keyboard. I was writing to a friend and wasn’t in the mood for: “”””””””aaaaaa^^^^^^^^^^kkkkkkkk))))))))) all over my email so I picked her up and took her off it. <br /><br />When I returned to my email I realised that I’d LOST THE LETTER 'A' in the process.<br /><br />I looked for the missing letter in the room and didn't find it. So I took everything out of the room to look for my letter 'A'. <br /><br />NOTHING. It's just vanished.<br /><br />You’d be ‘surprised’ at how often one uses the letter ‘A’. NOT. It simply takes the pleasure out of writing. Why couldn’t it have been ‘Q’? <br /><br />Do you have any idea how annoying that is? No you don't. I'll tell you why: about 4 years ago, my old laptop lost its letter 'A'. I always said to my mum it was the cat but she always defended her saying it wasn't. I now know it was, the only thing that would make the evidence more concrete is forensic testing.<br /><br /> <br />Two different cats, two different laptops, same letter of the fucking alphabet. Once is incredibly annoying, twice in one lifetime is more than absurd. <br /><br />So apart from my computer breaking in two different places and having the most ridiculous confrontation in the history of confrontation - everything’s fine Dell, thanks for asking.<br /><br />©Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-49801267572483519862009-12-15T11:08:00.001-08:002009-12-15T12:17:06.929-08:00Thank you for choosing Dell<span style="font-style:italic;">Choose life. <br />Choose a job. <br />Choose a career. <br />Choose a family, <br />Choose a fucking big television<br />Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. <br />Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. <br />Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. <br />Choose a starter home. <br />Choose your friends. <br />Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. <br />Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. <br />Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. <br />Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. <br />Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats You have spawned to replace yourself. <br />Choose your future. <br />Choose life.</span><br /><br />These days –during times of economic crisis - these lyrics have even more meaning than they did when Trainspotting first came out in 1996. I really don't see myself ever living in the UK ever again. This whole British Airways thing reminds me how much greed + money = capitalism can ruin so many peoples’ Christmas’ / lives and it's disgusting. <br /><br />Surely BA’s corporate image is bad enough due to previous strikes at peak times?<br /><br />My only dealings with UK corporations since I've left have been negative. E.g. the cable for my laptop is suddenly partially broken and I've only had it for about 10 months. Dell won't replace it under the warranty because they say it's 'wear and tear'...<br /><br />First of all I tried to use their online support system to make the complaint. That didn’t work, so I emailed the ‘customer services’ person I dealt with when I ordered it, explaining that I knew they weren’t the right person to contact with my hardware problem but as ‘customer services’ I simply asked them to let me know the email address of the technical support department.<br /><br />Her response was thus:<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Kindly contact the technical team on 0844-338-1000</span><br /><br />I don’t want to call them. Even if I was in the UK I wouldn’t want to call them. Why? Because if I remember correctly when you call any ‘Customer Service’ number you’re put on hold for 45 minutes, then you speak to someone and they say you’ve been put through to the wrong department and they need to transfer you to another department. So you’re put on hold for at least another 20 minutes, buy that point your lunch hour is over and you’ve either spent £800 using your mobile phone or your boss is looking at you like – ‘um do some fucking work, and are you using the company’s phone line to make personal calls?’<br /><br />So eventually you speak to someone who is... I’m going to say stupid and doesn’t really know anything about computers but they work in ‘Technical Support’ for a huge international computer company such as Dell. They don’t understand what the problem is because it’s a hardware problem, not a software problem. So they need to transfer you to the person that deals with hardware problems. So you’re on hold for another 25 minutes. <br /><br />By this point you’ve lost the will to live and killing yourself seems like a much easier, less painful and more enjoyable experience than a) dealing with ‘technical support’ b) holding a telephone to your ear for much longer and c) using your laptop, that you <span style="font-style:italic;">loved</span> dearly when it’s not working properly.<br /><br />So I reply to her saying I’m in Peru and making such a phone call would be more than inconvenient, please could she pass on the email address of the right person. I get an ‘out of office’ response. She has since been back in the office and I have heard nothing from her. Great customer service.<br /><br />So I gave the online ‘Technical Support’ thing another go and this time it works. Hurrah.<br />Four days later I receive a response from ‘Technical Support’:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Dear Miss D Meanour,<br /><br />Thank you for contacting Dell E-mail Hardware Technical E-mail Support.<br /><br />I would like to appreciate your efforts in trying to troubleshoot the issue from your end and for giving us the complete information.<br /><br />After going through your email, I have understood that you are facing an issue with the AC Adapter port on the laptop.<br /><br />I would like to inform you that this damage will not be covered under warranty as this seems to be caused due to a wear and tear issue and to get the service we will have to book an out of warrany repair for you in which our department people will be calling you and will be quoting the price incase if you agree to it they will go ahead and replace the required part.<br /><br />Please reply to this email so that we may be able to action the case as soon as possible.<br /><br />The case number for this communication is XXXXXXX<br /><br />You may also receive an electronic survey from DELL to provide your feedback on the service provided by us on this email would appreciate your participation in the survey as your feedback provides us with an opportunity to improve our services and customer experience.<br /><br />Thank you for choosing Dell</span><br /><br />“Thank you for choosing Dell”. Cheeky bastards, how dare they. I am still paying for their sub-standard, malfunctioning product via Direct Debit. I can’t WAIT to receive the electronic survey to give them my ‘feedback’. <br /><br />In the meantime, I breathed for an hour before I replied, so that my first word in my email to them wasn’t: “BOLLOCKS...”<br /><br />This was my response:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Are you joking? Wear & tear? I had my last laptop (a Toshiba) for 6 years and the power cord didn't break.<br /><br />I've had this laptop for 10 months and I have looked after it very well. It's my baby. I don't let anyone else use it. I treat it with great care and respect as I need it for my work.<br /><br />THE PROBLEM:<br /><br />The part that connects to the computer is inside the hole that you put the power cord in to. The cord itself then connects to the part that's inside the hole.<br /><br />The problem is that the laptop no longer charges and error messages display frequently and when I turn it on it always asks me to press F1. Since the power cord no longer works properly and my laptop no longer recognises it as a Dell power cord (even though it is) the performance has dropped - it is much slower.<br /><br />I do not accept your response that it is not covered under warranty. This is a disgrace. <br /><br />I expect to receive a replacement power cable for my laptop ASAP. This can be sent to: XXXXX, London. And the residents will then send it on to me in Peru.<br /><br />Regards.<br />Miss D Meanour</span><br /><br />Let’s see what happens with that. <br /><br />Then there's the banks. Don't even get me started on banks. Especially one that begins with ‘B’ and rhymes with ‘arclays’. Why use a secret code – why not just come out and say it? Well they would probably track this blog post down using the system spying on normal people who haven’t done anything wrong and punish me by demanding I pay my entire overdraft back in the next 5 days; threatening that if I don’t they’ll rape and pillage my entire family’s bank accounts and leave them for dead in the credit crunch ditch that is modern life in the UK.<br /><br />Merry Christmas.<br /><br />©Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-78388451540680724762009-06-06T23:57:00.001-07:002014-08-05T16:24:56.168-07:00Revolution o´clockWhat the hell is going on over there? I have a good mind to come back and start the revolution myself. Don´t just sit there – do something! If you don´t, I will.<br /><br />In order to relax and get away from it all – the doom and gloom that has saturated the British media over the last 10 months – I stopped reading the news. I closed myself off from the world and refused to look at anything that wasn´t lovely.<br /><br />I overheard that pigs are the new cows (BSE is so last millennium), then that was it. No more. I wanted to live in a beautiful green, picturesque bubble. It was great – for a while. But one gets cabin fever in a small town. News is replaced by gossip, molehills become mountains and teacups become the perfect landscape for a storm.<br /><br />I watched the news for the first time in 2 months on Monday. I´d heard that a flight had gone missing between Rio and Paris. As far as I know, no one I had met in Rio was on that flight.<br /><br />A few days later I had an email from someone who knows how much I love a good rant, informing me of the ¨political fun¨ going on back in Blighty. [That reminds me, I must try to watch last week´s ´Have I got news for you´on iPlayer some how. I bet it´s a 2 hour extravaganza – Hislop and Merton must be having a field day.]<br /><br />So why are we just letting this New Labour debacle continue? Why have we let it go on for years now? Even ´the good old days´ were ridiculous. The Blair/Brown circus and the overinflated economy was an accident waiting to happen. Cast your mind back to 2006/2007 – the vast majority of wealth and fortune was with the lowest echelons of humanity: estate agents, recruitment agents and city boys – otherwise known as wankers. Seeing said wankers flashing the cash, with their Audi TT´s, bullshit designer clothes and brand new faux wharf ápartments´ - we naturally wanted a piece of the action for ourselves.<br /><br />Ah - the era of ¨buy now pay later¨ – yup - we sure are.<br /><br />But if we´d all realised back then, back at the start of the millennium that none of that shit really matters then we wouldn´t be in this mess now. Fuck it, let´s buy a new sofa, new car, new life on credit. But it´s not life is it? Stuff, money – it´s not life!!!<br /><br />We were all encouraged to be shallow, materialistic, horrible people with shiny new toys. And thus became hollow, masochistic people that bathe in others misery every night; tuning in to the next ´reality´ TV creation. Some of us simultaneously wishing we were on Big Brother whilst gawking at others´ public humiliation - year after year (after year...)<br /><br />The recession isn´t the end of the world – but hopefully it´s the beginning of the end of the world as we know it.<br /><br />Don´t you think a revolution would be fun? Overthrowing parliament, government... the system? Are we all resigned to the fact that there´s nothing we can do about it? People say: it´s just the way it is, there´s nothing we can do about it. No it isn´t – it doesn´t have to be!<br /><br />We need a period of anarchy to bring about the new era – the new dawn. Historically this has worked - many times, in many different countries, in many different ways. We can´t let these grey suited, grey-haired, grey-faced bores rule our country. We shouldn´t give them the satisfaction – they don´t deserve it. We´ve watched them rise, tell lies, mumble, then crumble – in front of our very eyes. It was entertaining, I guess. But it´cost us more than vast amounts of our hard earned tax – it´s cost the UK a huge loss of respect on an international scale, it cost many people their jobs, their livelihoods and their homes.<br /><br />Now we´re faced with the prospect of an election at some point – great. But who to vote for? Maybe none of them. Definitely not the BNP. I say fuck the election, why wait for THEM to decide. Storm parliament and get your money back. Don´t make me come over there and do it myself. Although I will if you want me to. Who´s with me?<br /><br />©<br /><br />Visit: www.thezeitgeistmovement.com - for more infoMiss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-77438967740280031362009-04-18T06:04:00.000-07:002014-08-05T16:26:11.977-07:00Thought for the day: Sexship PlatonicaLast night I woke up to find one of my oldest friends trying to have sex with me.<br /><br />Yes we’d all been drinking, heavily: beer, sambuca, champagne, vodka and rum - to be precise. But the reason for this level of excess on a Wednesday night was to commemorate his leaving to go and live in South Africa, with his girlfriend.<br /><br />I have no doubt in my mind as to what’s worse - the attempted cheating vs. the sneaking his slimy sausage into my unsuspecting slit. I am disgusted by this unauthorised entry, however even more disgusted by Miles’ unashamed opportunism after having a conversation with me only a few hours earlier, in which we were discussing how lovely Vanessa [Miles’s girlfriend] is.<br /><br />Is it just English boys that have absolutely no idea how to conduct themselves: when there is a clear obstruction such as a girlfriend or boyfriend in the picture - they can be very forthcoming. Yet when you’re both free agents, suddenly it gets ‘complicated’.<br /><br />Friendship between [heterosexual] men and women, in my experience, somehow seems to have an undercurrent of sexual tension on one or both sides. Now if you’re reading this thinking - I have a friend of the opposite sex and there is absolutely no sexual tension between us, it’s purely platonic: we‘re just mates. The chances are he/she fancies the pants off you and has thought about having sex with you on more than one occasion. There is also a possibility that he or she at some point in the future will either a] try it on with you or b] confess their undying love for you. And by the time they do this, the chances are that you simply don’t see them in that way.<br /><br />I have been on receiving end of this a few times - having someone confess their undying love to me and the surprise of having someone you know trying it on at an inappropriate moment. I am also guilty of doing something similar myself. I think one of my ‘finest’ moments may well have been an emotional showdown with a male friend: “I’m in love with you and I never want to see you again” - good god how embarrassingly melodramatic, but we had actually had a ‘thing’ on and off for a few years and we were certainly more than just good friends.<br /><br />So why do ‘boys’ feel the need to save up all this ‘passion’ for sometimes years, be your mate, set themselves up in your mind very much as a friend and then when it’s all too late, feel the need to act on it? The result being it get’s a bit awkward and you end up having to have a bit of ‘space’ and the friendship is never quite the same again. The fun has gone and you can’t help sitting there thinking: you love me, hmm, better keep my distance, don’t want to lead you on.<br /><br />Sometimes you can get away with having a one off shag with a male friend. Afterwards you both realise it wasn’t a good idea. Move on and pretend it never happened. Putting the whole ugly mess behind you, the friendship carries on as normal. With the sexual tension now eliminated you can truly just get on with being chums.<br /><br />At best, feelings are reciprocated. Success! - You’re mates, you fancy each other, you get it on, you go out, eventually you get married and live happily ever after. Perfect. - HA! If only it were that simple.<br /><br />Men and women, boys and girls, mixing sex and friendship - 9 times out of 10 - not a great idea, but we continue to make these mistakes, because let’s face it, it’s fun. Yes it can hurt, and yes ‘friendships’ can be ruined by it, but it was always inevitably going to happen - especially if more than one of you thinks about doing it at the same time.<br /><br />I digress. As there is a great difference between this and waking up to find your mate trying to jab his penis into you while you‘re having a snooze. I mean, for fucks sake. Would you do that if you didn’t know me? Or is this your technique? Is this how you and your girlfriend got together - no, I didn’t think so. So why do boys have this in-built opportunism? And is it built into their head, or their knob?<br /><br />Over the last 10 years I have encountered some of the most ridiculous behaviour from men - friends, acquaintances, colleagues… bosses, other people‘s boyfriends, randoms - that makes me wonder what the hell it must be like to have a cock. I never used to buy into all this ‘Women are from Venus, Men are controlled by their penis’ stuff, but as I’m getting older [and wiser I like to think] it certainly does seem to be true. Fundamentally - will we ever fully understand each other’s points of view?<br /><br />©<br /><br />Written: End March 2009Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-30929488866733042672009-03-12T05:27:00.000-07:002009-03-12T06:18:36.047-07:00Thought for the day: Fat Bushy Shoe TaxToday I have heard 2 pieces of news: in the States the man who chucked a shoe, yes that’s right, A SHOE at mass-murderer - George W Bush - is going to jail for 3 years. At the very least Mr Shoe should be let off on the grounds of severe provocation and be awarded the Victoria Cross.<br /><br />On a separate note - in the UK they’re thinking of putting a tax on chocolate “to combat obesity” - HOW is that going to combat obesity? And who are these fat people any way? I probably see less than 1 disgustingly fat person per week. Why not just put a tax on everything that isn’t part of your 5 a day? If you ate a bowl of pasta 3 times a day without doing exercise you’d put on more weight than if you ate a chocolate bar for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Or just tax fat people? What about all the healthy people that like chocolate? It doesn’t even make sense any more. <br /><br />Why not just call it ‘Fun Tax’ - are you enjoying yourself? Well that’ll be £77 please, thank you very much. I can just see it now: you’re at it, in bed, with your other half, Alistair Darling knocks on the door and demands you pay up: “So that’s 3 orgasms at £77 each, you owe £231. Would you like to set up a regular payment?”<br /><br />TAX. WHAT A RIP OFF. Think of all the tax we pay: income tax, national insurance, VAT, road tax, council tax, stamp duty, inheritance tax… I could go on. Inheritance tax is the most ridiculous one. And don’t give me all that redistribution of wealth nonsense. It isn’t redistributed to the honest, hard working, average person. The only way you can cheat inheritance tax is via a psychic prediction of the exact year of death.<br /><br />So, I have a proposal for you: how about we just pay national insurance and 20% VAT on all consumer goods. All the rest of it is bollocks. <br /><br />Picture this: When you get your payslip each month, instead of seeing over a third of your wages shaved off, you’d just see a modest deduction for national insurance and a big wad of cash that you’ve rightfully earned. This way we can redistribute the wealth back to ourselves and we’re only taxed when we buy something. Ultimately it would be a tax on our own greed and necessity. We would gauge how much we want or need something, purchase it and the VAT would go into a big pot to fund all the stuff that council tax etc pays for. Simple. <br /><br />Not convinced? Ok. Exhibit B - where is all OUR money going at the moment? I haven’t seen a vast improvement in anything in the last 12 New Labour years that I‘ve been earning a wage. Schools have got much worse. Oh but exam results are improving - that’s because these days you only need to get 45% in a GCSE or an A Level and you get an A. This is so every illiterate cretin can go to university, thus rendering anyone with an ounce of intelligence’ degree null and void. Said cretin will take out a student loan from the government under the pretence that it is at a low interest rate. <br /><br />So let’s get this straight: the government fix your exams to make you feel clever enough to go into higher education - but you can’t afford the fees. “Don’t worry, we’ll lend you some money, here you go - have 4 grand a year for 3 years and pay us back when you can.” “Oh thanks Mr Government, sir”. Then 5 years and a worthless 2:2 in Media Studies later said cretin gets the bill, spends the next 15 years of his life paying it off whilst working in a call centre, living with his mum. Nice.<br /><br />Not only this but, the NHS is a bad joke, public transport isn’t public, the economy is in turmoil, everyone’s fucking miserable [and they have the audacity to whack on a chunk of tax to our cost effective chocolatey moments of self indlugance]. <br /><br />As consumers, if this was anything else we’d contact customer services immediately, lodge a formal complaint on the grounds of poor service, late delivery and false advertising. I demand a refund.<br /><br />©<br /><br />Written: 12.03.2009Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-12429416632823951812009-03-11T13:32:00.000-07:002009-03-12T07:15:01.764-07:00Travelogical: Portuguese, Paraty and pre-passport palpitations...Procrastination can be a wonderful thing, as by the time you've decided to do something - you know you definitely want to do it. Also - friends that point out to you how long you've been talking about doing said thing, are even more wonderful. Being decisive is an art form I have only very recently started to master. But it feels good.<br /><br />Right now, i'm in the process of waiting for a brand-spanking new passport. So... how did I lose my passport? 10 years I had the thing. It was my only form of ID being a non-driver so it went clubbing with me for 10 years [not so much in the last year or so - I just pull out a grey hair or point at a wrinkle and the bouncers let me in]. It went to Europe, Africa and Central America with me on some short excursions. It’s surprising that it wasn't lost during some wild night out in Brixton, I didn't get mugged on the streets of Belgrade, nor did it go astray when staying in a derelict beach hut in Acapulco...<br /><br />No. During the process of filling out a passport form [before it expired] and getting new photos, it went missing. At work. Poor bastard - what a sad way to go. I often wonder if our cleaner at work - Rosa - sold it on the Cuban black market. That would be more exciting than being recycled. Although, I'll probably find it under the wobbly leg of a desk about 2 hours after I get the new one.<br /><br />Anyway, I digress.<br /><br />So after waiting in vain for it to show its battered, stapled, stamped, worn out face for a couple of months; this week I decided to fast-track my application to get a new one - <span style="font-style:italic;">without</span> the old one as back up. This takes 1 week.<br /><br />Why the hurry you may ask? [As my boss must have done as I legged it to the passport office with 11 different forms of identification and proof of address, donning a panic stricken look - not commonly seen in the work place these days].<br /><br />Because now i've made the decision that i'm definitely 'off' - I want to go NOW. And when I say now, I mean RIGHT NOW. FYI - This feeling of wanting to go 'now' gets stronger by about 11:30 every day of the working week. So as soon as I get my new passport, that's it, i'm done. I'm handing my notice in and I’m off to see as much of the world as possible with the pittance I’ve managed to salvage from the reckless frivolity of the last 12 months.<br /><br />Where am I going? Well, to start the adventure - Paraty, Brazil - where I hope to work in a backpacking hostel to fund my existence and live the beach life. There’s talk of lots of exciting things like boat trips - I do love a good boat. Other than getting myself a working visa, the only condition is I have to be willing to learn Portuguese. I can do willing. But can I do Portuguese? We shall see.<br /><br />But that’s what I’m going to do and that’s where I want to be for at least the next few months. Then - who knows. Might have a browse around South America, see what it’s all about. Then head to Mexico, the states, Hawaii, hopefully get a bit of work in Australia, go and see NZ, Fiji, Micronesia… then see whether it takes me to Thailand and Vietnam, Goa, Africa - Malawi, Ghana, Kenya, the Sahara, pop into Europe on my way home, back in time for the Olympics.<br /><br />Doesn’t that sound nice? It would be fun, but to be honest - if I manage to learn Portuguese and make it to Brazil and back, I’ll be a happy woman.<br /><br />©<br /><br />Written 01.03.2009<br /><br /><br />FOR MORE EN TOUR, EXPLORE: http://travelogica.blogspot.com/Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-8487287612574109342009-03-03T13:02:00.000-08:002009-03-05T05:48:41.407-08:00Thought for the day: Choice & democracyApparently Democracy is a form of government in which power is held directly or indirectly by citizens under a free electoral system. It is derived from the Greek dimokratia - "popular government".<br /><br />Interesting how far we have deviated from this original concept.<br /><br />“Popular” - hmmm - there’s nothing popular about this government, especially not for the last… um, 6 years. I think the point when we all got a bit fed up was when the Iraq War started. Yet in 2005 [2 years after the war began] we were very much lumbered with the same old rubbish: Blair [bye!], Brown [now PM by default], Straw [changes jobs more often than Jordan changes bra size], Darling [I’ve got 2 words for you: comedy eyebrows]…<br /><br />What was ‘our’ motivation for voting them in again - they got us into this mess so they should get us out of it - or simply lack of choice?<br /><br />As consumers we are given the ‘luxury’ of too much choice: 22 different variations of washing up liquid in Sainsbury’s [I counted] to at least 6 different baked bean brands. But when it comes to the leadership of our country and exercising our democratic right to vote, ultimately we have a choice of 3.<br /><br />There are actually 25 political parties in the UK, but rarely more then 6 of them are represented on your electoral slip of paper - what if I want to vote for the Pensioners Party instead of Labour? Or the National Democrats instead of the Liberal Democrats? Or the Legalise Cannabis Alliance instead of the Conservative Party? We can all ‘vote green’ but what does that mean? We’re mostly made to think this is a pointless act of personal rebellion and it will have little effect on the final result.<br /><br />Winning or losing - there is only 1 winner, and millions of ‘losers’ what’s democratic about that?<br /><br />Politicians have no respect for the power we’ve given them. We pay their salaries, we put them there, we didn’t choose the cabinet, some did choose Blair - now a distant memory. We didn’t even elect Brown but we’re stuck with him. Why? I couldn’t possibly tell you. We haven’t had an election for 4 years and yet there’s no sign of one on the horizon, no date has been set. Why? Because those currently in power know they will lose and those opposing them can’t guarantee they’ll win. It cannot be likened to a game of chess, it’s simply a political game of snakes and ladders.<br /><br />We can’t go on like this forever. With this dreary charmless witless man, the man who has made Britain’s single biggest contribution to fucking up the economy and being rewarded with the title of Prime Minister. Blair must be laughing.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“Freedom of political expression, freedom of speech and freedom of the press are essential so that citizens are informed and able to vote in their personal interests.”</span><br /><br />Freedom FROM the press would be nice. Media consumption - the internet, reality TV, the tabloids… all fodder for the foolish. If you read The Sun or the Daily Mail often enough, surely you must start to agree with it. Right? Maybe. The press do expose politicians on our behalf - it makes us aware of any political wrong-doings, but what do we do about it? We talk about it - “isn’t it disgraceful” etc.<br /><br />Politicians are elected to represent us - they clearly don’t. The labour party was set up to represent the working classes - it doesn’t. They gave their public the ability to borrow as much money as possible, more than they could afford to pay back - so they can buy a plasma TV 2/3rd’s the size of the average living room. Forget keeping up with the Jones’s, until 2008 we were all encouraged to keep up with the Beckhams.<br /><br />So where’s the backlash? What are we doing about it? Nothing. We’re being kept busy with the fear of losing our jobs, houses… minds. Last time we had a major public protest it was quite frankly ignored. Which has since brought with it: the age indifference. Yet we live in an over populated and discontented nation - power in numbers, or so it should be. We are a nation of people who shout at the TV when it’s offside. This is offside. Why aren’t we shouting about it? This ‘democracy’ clearly isn’t working for us.<br /><br />One final thought: would Guy Fawkes would be a national hero today, if he’d tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament last November?<br /><br />©<br /><br />03.03.2009Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-68534082814231113972009-03-03T12:43:00.000-08:002009-03-05T17:17:04.595-08:00Thought for the day: Commuting breeds contempt for fellow manYou know I moved out of my flat about 3 weeks ago? I live back with my parents and have been commuting for nearly 3 weeks and my rage levels have gone up from zero to approx 59 on the Richter scale. I put this down to starting off the day by losing my dignity along with the rest of South West London by being humiliatingly packed onto a train having to see peoples pores and, veins in their eyes, flakey ears, spots, random hairs, general disgusting human qualities - at close range.<br /><br />On Monday a woman told me she could hear my music - um – “no you can't” was my response. There were 4 other people with iPods and 2 of them had the original shit iPod headphones - the ones which the people around you can hear more then you can - where as I have the special little rubber ones you poke into your earholes so no one can hear your music and more importantly, you get better sound.<br /><br />[It's not like I was raving out to some grime blaring out from my phone whilst sitting on the top deck of a bus with my crew dem, I was listening to a bit of Bob Dylan for god's sake].<br /><br />THEN she must have had a moan about me to the man standing behind me cos about 5 minutes before we got to Clapham Junction he felt the need to tell me he was getting off at the next stop. Um, yes mate - good for you - I’ll move if I can extract this geezer's elbow from out of my arse. To quote Wikipedia:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"By number of trains passing through each day, some 2,000 (most of which stop), Clapham Junction is the busiest railway station in Britain, and in Europe as signage of 17 June 2005 proclaimed. It is less busy by the number of passengers, most of whom pass straight through (roughly 430,000 pass through each weekday, 135,000 in rush hour times). Interchanges make some forty per cent of the activity and by that count too it is the busiest station in the UK."</span><br /><br />- So i'm quite sure a few other people on the carriage will be getting off too.<br /><br />It's bad enough that we have to look at these people, let alone get into a 'discussion' with them about something tedious and accusational when you're minding your own business staring at a map on the wall thinking of being anywhere but here.<br /><br />Starting and ending your day with commuting anger is bad for your health. I am living proof. Going from no commuting and no anger to lots of commuting to lots of stress = proof.<br /><br />©<br /><br />26.02.2009Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864662393106811345.post-57503857629645280202009-03-03T11:32:00.000-08:002009-10-27T11:57:08.819-07:00Thought for the day: 4 day week - anyone?Cash rich, time poor? - We should be so lucky. <br /><br />They say time is money, so why do we spend so much time trying to make money to ultimately enjoy our free time? Why do we not ‘invest’ our time more wisely. We’re told life is for living, enjoying, making the most of. So why do most of us spend it staring at the same grey walls 5 days a week, thinking about going on holiday, plan our 2 weeks of escapism twice a year, enjoy these times more then any other, only to return - wishing you were still on holiday? I hope you see where I’m going with this.<br /><br />It’s not a question of working to live or living to work. It’s just working to work and working to pay for things we don’t need that don’t really make us all that happy - well, not for long anyway. Short term fixes - like shoes - to brighten up our dreary days. Or long term things like property.<br /><br />Mortgage. Even the word sounds boring. A long term house loan to buy a house you only really get to appreciate 2 out of 7 days a week [unless you’re lucky enough to work from home, then this article really isn’t aimed at you]. So why get tied to something that ultimately forces you into a scenario of ‘owning’ something, having the ‘responsibility’ of it and resenting it‘s entrapment.<br /><br />Freedom is something that we - humans - have fought for, for centuries. Is this freedom? Working 5 days and getting 2 days off? Where’s the balance? What kind of lop-sided lifestyle have we as humans set ourselves up for? This is ‘the norm’ - why? Who made that up? When did we all agree that it was perfectly acceptable to work Monday to Friday for 8 hours day - which becomes 10 if you include the commute [which feels like a days work in itself sometimes].<br /><br />There are 7 days in a week - right? So giving 4 of those up to our ‘work’ life seems more than fair - right? Have you ever noticed the change in mood in our fellow human beings after a bank holiday weekend? Everyone is so much more relaxed, happy… reasonable. We’ve had an evening to wind down after work, 3 days and 2 more evenings to play with before we retire to bed on Monday night - ready for the 4 day week ahead.<br /><br />Each and every week, by Thursday, you’ve had enough. “Surely it must be the weekend now?” - but no, at best, you have that 1 more bonus day of highly un-productive office fun. So I propose we all call it a day then, and start the weekend then and there. Getting a full Friday off, Saturday and Sunday - relaxed and ready for work on Monday.<br /><br />It’s not about living for the weekend - ideally - but after a few years of work, I’ve found myself doing this - only to discover that 2 days is barely enough time to fit in winding down, drinking, socialising, pottering, reading, shopping, going for walks, going for dinner, going to bars and relaxing. Even at the weekend you find yourself on a time schedule. [Especially as TFL so kindly don’t want to eat into our working week with disruptions on the tubes, so they suspend a third of the network at the weekend for ‘improvements’ so that it takes 2 hours rather than 1 to get to the other side of London…!}<br /><br />People’s usual protest against this 4 day working week ideology with - what about ‘the economy’ - FAT lot of good working 5 days a week has done for the economy is all I have to say. Plus - think of the tourist industry - 3 day weekend’s open up endless possibilities of mini-breaks to countryside destinations, European city breaks - all without having to eat into our precious 20-25 days of allocated holiday a year.<br /><br />Of course to be really balanced, it should be 3.5 days on, 3.5 days off…<br /><br />©<br /><br />02.03.2009Miss D. Meanourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05468219851073300727noreply@blogger.com1